Memoirs of a Functioning Derelict

Once upon a time, many moons ago, I longed for a life where I could lounge in my pajamas and get paid to write about video games. Mind you, this was back when I was smack dab in the middle of what was to be a seven-year stint in college.…

A Review of Charr Burger Bar

It wasn't the ice cold crab cake, made with what was clearly canned salmon, that did it. Neither was it the BBQ bacon cheeseburger that was thrown together in an imitation of Jackson Pollack. Heck, it wasn't even the apple cobbler covered in what I can only assume was more…

Beyond (Before) Thunderdome

In case you haven't heard, there's a new movie out called Mad Max: Fury Road. Oh, who am I kidding? The movie had a fantastic opening weekend and broke even on international box office sales alone. But, on the off chance that you've somehow been living in a nether dimension…

Silence is acceptance

So, there I was, trapped in the red nightmare that is the waiting room of the Larry Miller Toyota dealership, when it hit me: Silence is acceptance. Complacency is a prison. How did I come to this realization? What profound experience led me to believe that passively waiting around while…

Just say no to "dadbod"

I must be late to the party, as usual, because I just heard about this new thing called "dadbod," and I'm simultaneously nodding my head like, "Yeah, this is totally the type of thing the typical American male would champion" and at the same time revolted by the very idea.…